When to be honest
6:59 pm in business by Will Hawkins
Looking up virtues on Wikipedia gives you an impression of just how many virtues there are. Honesty is a virtue. Honesty is slap-bang in the middle of the table, below helpfulness and above honour. To the left of it is consideration. To the right is patience.
And yet, as virtuous as it is, honesty is something which is tricky. Being honest can make you friends and lose you friends equally quickly. Here’s a story about honesty which I hope will show, at least, when not to be honest.
Years ago, a friend was going out with someone who worked in a well known advertising agency. She was in charge of their account with an equally recognisable international brewery. They were launching a new beer which was a bit different in that it was supposed to appeal to different types of male beer drinkers. In fact, the beer was trying to attract people who wanted a good pint of bitter in the winter, which was also appealing to lager drinkers, and those who wanted something to drink with food. Ridiculous, right? It sounded like a Swiss Army knife in what it was trying to achieve. A beer just cannot do that.
The advertisement was on TV and showed a man moving through three different rooms each of which met the atmosphere to match when they were likely to drink the beer. It was a nice advertisement and must have taken hours to pull together.
The advertising executive asked me what I thought of her advertisement. I was honest. I didn’t like it because the beer did not appeal to me. I am not really a lager drinker and I don’t often drink beer with food. Her face dropped.
In retrospect, I should have said it was great because it did not really matter what I thought of the beer. She was going out with my pal (and eventually they married) and it was more important to be friends with them than what I thought about her advertisement. I should have lied.
Another time, I was running my own online delicatessen and selling hampers. They were good hampers and not the standard stuff that is turned out in volume by the big companies. A customer found my site and rang me up to say he loved what he saw on my site and I could I do him sixty hampers. I was honest. I did not have enough stock to be able to fulfill the order at the time. I should have lied. I should have said ‘yes’ and worked out how the hell I was going to get the stock in and out on time.
On other occasions, particularly in business, I have found that being honest saves a huge amount of time and builds relationships that are strong and beneficial. Too often I have been in meetings when I was honest with a client about whether we could help them or not only to be rebuked by a colleague afterwards. Or I was honest about the reality and that we were unlikely to deliver on time because I knew the dire situation with our resources to be able to help them.
In my experience, clients like to know where they stand because people don’t like surprises. People like to know so they can plan for the change in expectations. People respect honesty. But being honest can lose you opportunities too. You just have to use your judgement whether you need to be honest or charming. You need to consider whether you are honest and pass by some luck or whether you take a risk and grab an opportunity by less than frank.
Tags: advertising agency, beer drinkers, business, change, communication skills, content, helpfulness, patience, relationships, risk, story about honesty, TV






